Mommy Seinfeld + Plea for Comments

I feel like I could write a Mommy Seinfeld episode surrounding my ponderings of this case of size 5 unopened Pampers Baby-Dry.

Opened and in the diaper bin I have approximately 15 diapers and about 10 pull-ups. I know I am jinxing myself, but with no accidents in days, and 2 mornings with dry diapers, I am thinking I do not need this $20 case of diapers. What to do?

1. Do I take them back to Target? I still have the receipt.
2. Do I bequeath them to Mia's mommy who is doing the gradual potty training? Mia is mostly wearing pull-ups though.
3. Do I give them to brand-new-baby Ben or sudden baby Jamar? Posts for another day - but they are both still in newborns, so it seems silly.
4. Do I take them to the charity where I send the clothes that are too small for Jax that I did not intend to hold on to? (For what has happened to those I was going to keep, refer to future post on sudden-baby-Jamar. Actually, that story is worth at least two posts.) That would require effort, and leaving my office between the hours of 8:30 and 5.
5. Do I hold on to them to head off said jinx? That could be "wasting" $20.

But the number 1 question: Why in the world am I obsessing over what to do with this silly case of diapers???

I am going to thinly veil my plea for comments (I RARELY have any - please comment you lurkers - I hope there are lurkers, that is - I have even posted pics, and no comments) behind a request to vote:

What do YOU think I should do with this case of diapers?

Happiness

"My favorite part was having my WHOLE family here for my party."

The Potty Party

Incentive potty training JaxMom style.

1. If you go potty or stinkies on the potty, you get a sticker for your shirt and a sticker for the calendar. Yes, the potty party was held on day 9 of potty training.

2. If you fill an entire row with stickers, you can have a "Potty Party." To Jackson, "Potty Party" means:

A. A cake that is McQueen.

B. A present that is Boost from Cars (Boost missed the pic, because he is napping with Jax)


C. With Mia who also loves cake and Cars.


The Pitz family - Grandpa, Grandma, My 'Ori, Uncle Davie &, Daddy - were all there, too, along with mommy and "My" Rachel.

Grandpa and Jackson both had blue tongues!

Jackson even topped it off with separate trips to the potty for potties and stinkies.

Congratulations, Big Boy, I am very proud of you!!!!

A Happy, Exhausting Day

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

For me, that means listening to the Indy 500 on the radio, and making sure my yard and gardens are in full summer shape.

And tonight for the first time since I have lived in this house - nearly 8 years - all of my beds are in top shape! They are all weeded, weed guarded and freshly mulched. The pots are potted, final perennials added and the patio swept. The garage is even organized.

Tomorrow I will tie back the new growth on the wisteria and clematis, and we enter maintenance mode.

My body aches, and there are thorn scratches abound, but I am happy.

Hopefully Wednesday is all we Needed

Wednesday was good. I worked late; handed off the cabinetry specs for the office built-ins to the architect, and went for my haircut and visit with my now pregnant hairstylist/friend Doran.

Doran did not plan to be pregnant either, but was there with me through mine, so I hope I gave her some perspective. She has watched Jax grow, and has given him all of his haircuts.

It was good to talk openly of the highs and lows of unplanned pregnancies, and the highs and struggles of mommy-hood. I believe that motherhood will help ground Doran. She is a strong woman with a big heart and a soft spot for boys who need fixing. We took a new step in our friendship last night, and while my hair got pretty short, we chatted and chatted. I was her last customer, so she took me up on my offer to head the 6 blocks to my house for the Springfield Collection of Maternity Clothes, for which I am the keeper. (It seems that for each piece of clothing I lend out, I get 3 back.)

After my warm fuzzy pay it forward (but more back) girl night, I spent some needed time picking up, folding clothes, and watch TV. I awoke refreshed and with a better attitude.

Jax came home also in a better mood, with dad reporting three successful stinkies on the potty, and only one accident at Ms. Kathy's. Jackson also let me know while I finished getting ready that he needed to potty. I got him up there, he did his thing and got back down. I think he is getting the hang of it.

The only dark cloud was a return to his sassy, crabby mouth when it was a time to leave, but hopefully we can go forward tonight, and order the cake for the potty party!!

The Trying Days

I have been struggling with the mommy part of me so far in this short week. It started some time Sunday. I cannot really explain it. It could be the puking. It could be the potty training. It could be my unexplained exhaustion. It could be not having worked out in months, or the 10-15 pounds I have gained in the past two months. It could be the fact that I have not had a date in well over a year. Or kissed a boy over the age of 8 in over 500 days. Or it could just be PMS.

I have no patience with Jackson. I cannot deal with the defiance, which seems to emerge at my weak points. I don't really want to play or to be silly. I HAVE been good at story time.

We have had melt downs the past two nights. He has sobbed. I have thrown in the towel and gone to bed.

I am now ran to the computer as the bath fills rather than fight the fight of getting undressed.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. And I am getting my haircut. And then who knows.

Hopefully Thursday will be a better day.

Potty Update I

We had an all dry day, but I did not realize the patience potty training required. Not so much the accidents (so far), but once I get him on the potty.....He. WILL. NOT. GET. OFF.

Last night he logged a good hour, with one break for a snack.

Tonight, it took 30 minutes and a chant of "I think I can" after only going once all day. I fear the child will end up with hemorrhoids before his second dump.

He said he was determined to keep the McQueen's dry for 4 days...he is on a roll.

Potty in the potty all of the Time?

Despite the photo to the right, Jackson is not potty trained.

Ms. Kathy did tell me that she thought he was ready, because he "holds" his "potties" most of the day. We have been talking about it, and he knows that when he goes potty on the potty all of the time (fills a calendar row with stickers he earns from successful potty trips), he can have a party. He has decided that that means having a McQueen cake and a present that is Boost from the movie cars (which I have, so we are ready).

So we planned to start on Saturday or Sunday. He actually kicked it off by announcing at dinner that his "stinkies" needed to come out. I grabbed him up out of his chair, ran into the bathroom, and sure enough, the process began. He got stickeers on his tracking calendar and stickers on his shirt, which he then had to wear to bed.

I was not so sure about underwear to bed, but he insisted, and I don't think I slept all night (after having just washed everything from the puking on Thursday), but he made it.

Three accidents in 2 hours (including right at communion at church) we were back to pullups. The afternoon and evening went better. He camped out on the potty last night for almost an hour, not wanting to get up, but finally agreeing to take a break to eat strawberries at the table.

He opted for a diaper for overnight (which was quite wet this AM), but did have a successful morning, complete with 4 shirt stickers and one on the calendar. He chose McQueen underwear for today, and said he wanted to keep them dry for 4 days. I dropped him off at Ms. Kathy's with a bag full of pants, underwear and pull-ups, and wished her luck "doing her thing" (she is a potty training pro!)

We will see. There could be a potty party at our house this weekend. All are invited!!!

Puking is Two-Parent Job

As a single parent, I have conquered many things, even flying cross country with a 6 month, then an 18 month, than an almost three year old with all of our gear by myself.

But when the stomach holding, gagging and vomiting start, I am at a loss.

• Do you comfort the sobbing child and try to guide his spews toward something washable; or abandon him to grab a bowl/trash can/towel?
• Do you hold him and comfort him or attempt to strip his soiled clothes?
• There is no one to hold him as you rinse him off in the tub....
• To gather dry towels and clean clothes to get him clean, warm and a little less freaked out.
• To fetch crackers, the sippy cup, favorite doggie or right blanket while you rock him.
• To distract him and calm him while you strip the bed and wash the sheets so you leave them.
• To stop the DVD from playing the closing theme over and over as you try to comfort the moans, and you start to hate the Incredibles.
• To calm you and say it is not time to call your sister-in-law pediatrician because he now sobs that his arm hurts too, and you wonder why you did not call for back up earlier.
• To decide at what point you can put down the snoring and moaning child to tend to the mess left in the wake of the past few hours so you sit and rock awhile longer.

But now the blue-blankee wrapped cocoon is asleep across my bed. The washing machine is rumbling below. The house is trashed. But it can wait until.......well tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow will be another day.

Wednesdays I

My sister called me one Wednesday night kind of late.

She was upset because she was out with her lovely family of 4, and all around her, there were plenty of women out with other women, having dinner, cocktails and appearing to have a joyous time. She lamented because she does not have those groups of girl friends that she goes out with during the week. She has GREAT girlfriends, she did admit (and she does!), but they don't typically go OUT. In a group. During the week. What was wrong with her?

I tried to explain that I do know some women like that, and she does not want to be them. She has never been one to drink to get drunk. She loves spending time with her kids, and rarely gets alone time with her awesome husband.

She was starting to feel a little better, and apologized, wanting to let me get back to Jackson. I told her it was okay because it was Wednesday, the night each week he spends with his dad.

And then it hit me. It was WEDNESDAY - "International Single Moms' Night Out." (For any of you who don't know, the out-of-the-box custody agreement says dad's time is Wednesday night and every other weekend. ) The reason there were so many ladies out having a great time was that it was WEDNESDAY. I speculated to her that many of those were other single moms, and perhaps their non-single mom friends who go out to support them on Wednesday night.

I told her that the next time she saw these groups of "girlfriends" out and about to think about whether or not it is Wednesday, and if it is, to give her husband and extra hug and kiss when she snuggled into bed that night.

Skin

The topic of Elmo's World today was skin. Jackson watches Elmo right before we leave each day while I finish getting ready. I have no idea what they said.

We got in the car and he asked, "Mommy, do I have skin?" I explained that he did; that skin covered his body. This really disturbed him at first, but then he got used to the idea. He wanted to know why he had skin.

Trying to explain the idea of skin to an almost three year old is a little difficult. I told him that when you get a paper cut or a boo-boo, it is your skin that is hurt. I said that it is skin that covers all of the parts of your body - hands, tummy, feet, etc. Still not so sure. I finally explained that skin is like a bag - it holds all of the stuff in your body in. That seemed to do it for awhile.

But now he is completely obsessed with the concept of skin, who has it, and avoiding hurting it. His skin was afraid of going up the porch steps at Ms. Kathy's.

Elmo, what's next?

And so it begins...

Yesterday our Monday mail consisted of:

• College Illinois Pre-Paid Tuition Enrollment Confirmation
• Blessed Sacrament Preschool Registration Forms (finally)
• Diocese of Springfield Annual Catholic School Appeal.

And so this morning I made:

• My first payment for Jackson's college tuition
• My first payment for Jackson's real preschool
• My first payment to the Annual Catholic School Appeal as a parent of a Catholic school student.

And if all stays on schedule, I will be finished making the last of these payments in May of 2027.

Overheard - Saturday 7:58 AM

"Mommy, did you fall down on your bottom?"

"Um, no."

"Penis."

"[silence]"

"Mommy, do you have a penis?"

"No. I am a girl. Girls don't have penises."

"Then what do you have?"

"[Mommentary silence while mind races]....girl parts. They are just called girl parts."

"Oh. Girl parts.............I'm done helping with the cinnamon roll cakes."

"Okay."

Mommy Marketing

This should be a seminar taught in Expectant Parents Class.

Getting dressed at our house is an adventure each morning. NOT because Jax does not want to get dresssed, the debate surrounds WHAT to wear.

Jackson is very fashion conscious - not so much in the GapKids kind of fashion, but fashion as defined by the 2-4 year olds at Ms. Kathy's. What is ON the shirt is what matters. Sports (basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, etc.), important characters such as any thing related to Cars, and, over course, Monster trucks and race cars.

Once you have settled on said shirt, the pants have to "match". Match color but also match the theme of the outfit. For Jackson, that means if he has a soccer shirt, the pants (wind/sweat pants) or shorts are thus deamed "soccer" pants/shorts.

Well, tonight we have a 40th b-day party for a colleague and will be attending straight from work. I wanted him to look a little nicer than the old race car t-shirt and black wind pants. I tried to push the new striped polo shirt.

But how to get it on him? He had wanted very coveted skittles this AM, so I promised skittles to put on the shirt. He wasn't really buying it. "But it is a shirt like daddy's," I encouraged. Still pondering. Then he asked the question at the heart of the matter,

"But what kind of shirt IS it,
Mommy?"

And the light bulb went off.

"It is a GOLF shirt, Jackson."

"A golf shirt!"

"And golf shorts," I added.

"And these are golf shoes today, Mommy."

"Yes, they are!"

And he was dressed.

About the Title

In January 1997, I joined up with then Secretary of State George Ryan who was contemplating a run for Governor. Our office was "Program Staff," the liaisons between the front office/senior staff and the rank and file divisions of the largest SoS operations in the nation.

It was our job to make sure GHR's agenda was implemented in the divisions, come up with new ideas to make life better at the SoS and around the state, and to trouble-shoot in the real office. We were also the go-to folks for policy development for the Gov campaign (I can say this publicly now that the feds know all I know, the trials are all over, and those at the top are starting to get out of prison instead of more heading in).

It was there that I met and worked with a small but extremely dedicated group of people - a team unlike I will ever encounter again. We. Worked. HARD. We essentially lived together. We ate every meal together. We laughed, cried, and all that together.

And because we loved each other so much, we did not mind. We have tons of stories and endless fond memories that still bring a smile to my face....

It was at that time that Green Day's Good Riddance was so popular. And we adopted it as our program staff song. We thought we could never have predicted ending up together or that such an odd mix of people could click so well. And then trouble started near the end of the campaign. Allegations spiraled about bribes/dirty campaign dollars, etc. It got ugly. We did not believe any of it. But we won.

Over the next few months and then the next few years, the song continued to resonate with me. "Life grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.....Just make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time." At various points in the last 10 years (wow- that long?!) I have reflected on these notions as my life has taken turns, mainly when life grabs me by my wrist and sends me in a new direction. I hope I have made the best of those turns.

Having Jackson was completely unpredictable. Not that I never imagined being a mom, because I did. If there was one thing in my life that I knew I could do and do well was to be a mom. But I never imagined, growing up in a conservative family and having gone through 15 years of Catholic education, that I would be a single mom.

But I do love being a mom, especially Jackson's mom. It is a challenge, but I am good at it, I think. Only time will truly tell.

In the Beginning

My dear college friend KTP from House of Prince called me out one day while posting in her comments section. She encouraged me to start my own blog because I admitted that I compose posts modeled after hers in my head throughout my day.

I was hesistant, because if you know KTP or have been to HOP, you know what a wonderful and clever writer she is.

My reaction to a comment by the LA Times included in one of her posts did push me over the edge. As I strugged on how to kick off the blog - how to be clever and witty, I concluded that this post of mine included in her comments section pretty much sums up what I am guessing will be the background of my blog - the story of Jax and me as we live our Completely Unpredictable Life.

So as an intruction to JaxMom, here it is:

Okay. Be prepared for my vent. When KTP gets my blog done , I will
vent there. I have stewed on this quote all night, and can't let it go. Since it
was a third party, I feel I can let my frustrations out.

I did not exactly have a choice about staying a working mom, but I don't
think I am missing out with raising Jackson. I have been there for his first
crawl, first step, birthday's, vacations, spelling his name, learning colors. I
guide his eating, his manners, habits, medical care, hair cuts, discipline,
playmates.

I don't have to watch spongebob and have never seen a Dora episode. We don't have formal play groups, and we don't make crafts once a week.

But we do play Hi-Ho Cherry'O and Candyland; race cars, color, write thank you notes, carve pumpkins, color easter eggs, and bake lemon cake. We do wrestle most evenings, and tickle each
morning. We have dinner at the table with no TV nearly every night, even if is is the 1-2-3 meal (1 min for veggies, 2 mins for chick nuggests, 3 mins for easy mac).

He helps with laundry, dishes, setting the table, and picking up toys. He is very healthy and one of the happiest children ever to walk the planet.

He does know mommy goes to work, LOVES coming to the office, playing on the computer, pretending to have meetings. Recognizes two facilities where I have run conferences, and does know that when Grandma B comes, typically mommy is headed to Chicago.

I have made career sacrifices. I did not pick up and move to Indiana to take a job with D.C. when his friend Mitch became gov so Jacks would stay by his dad. I do leave work by 5:15 most nights, and rarey bring work home, and if I do, I rarely touch it. While I work at least one weekend each
month, he has quality time with dad, grandma or Aunt Lori, and typcially gets to do something fun I likely would not have taken him to do.

He has learned to love the library with dad, go to the gardens with Grandma, and can't wait to fish with Uncle Steve.

NO, I am not with him 24-7. But when I am with him, it is quality time. Everyone makes their own choice. Both choices are hard. But I take great issue with the LA Times implying that I "miss out on raising" Jackson because I work "outside the home."

I hope you enjoy your visits! - JaxMom