Out of the Mouths of Babes

(My wireless router won't route wirelessly, so I have to sneak in posts at work until I get our computer guy out to fix mine, or set up camp in the basement wired up, which is not going to happen anytime soon......)

Since I cannot post long, I will give you some Jacksonisms of late:

• Mommy, dis is dangerous for you, but not for me. Watch. (as he does some kind of trick).
• I cannot handle that, mommy (waiting, going to bed, etc.).
• Is that a decoration? (I must tell him quite often something is not a toy, but a decoration.)
• If it is storming, mommy, you hafta go inside to be safe.
• Watch dis, mommy. Don't turn your head. (perhaps I need to truly pay attention).
• Oh, yah, BA-BY

The Third Little Pig

Despite the post below, Jax fears all kinds of demon - ghosts, monsters, and wolves.

Thanks to the extended 45 minute version of that story told by my sister during the storm/tornado warning at the Lake this summer, this story has saved his fears many times.

What kind of house could the wolf not blow down? A house made of BRICKS. And what kind of house do we have? A house made of BRICKS.

Thanks, Aunt Angie, and the hard working little pig. Because you know, ghosts and monsters also cannot get in brick houses, AND wolves can't open the doors because they have paws and not fingers.

He thinks he is a Superhero

Jackson is completely into superheros. He had been shooting Spiderman webs for some time now, at times does the Hulk thing, but yesterday we got his Halloween costume - Mr. Incredible.


Our choices were 2-4 or 4-6, so we opted for the larger size. The butt and legs are a bit saggy, but it has the stuffed chest, and he looks so cute. He had to wear it around the house until I made him take it off for dinner. He was doing Incredible runs, kicks, and all types of heroic moves.


I got off easy for awhile, being designated as Frozone - or as he calls him "Fro-Bone" - and could just play by sitting on the couch, reaching my hands out and saying "freeze" every now and then.


Later I was the robot and used my claw and arms to capture and tickle him.


We are still struggling at bed time. He rotates among his bed, the floor with the sleeping bag, his bed with his sleeping bag, and yesterday for nap, it was his sleeping bag on MY bed. Last night at least he fell asleep without me in there, mainly because I kept falling asleep and refused to spend the night on the floor. We shall see.

p.s. For my commenter and any lurkers with smaller children who still do not pick their own costume, I have found that Old Navy actually as the cutest cuddly costumes for the best price. OR consignment shops are good too.

And so the Elves Have Begun

Today at lunch, I purchased the first Santa gift (or mommy gift), for Jackson.

It is a Spider Man Jr. Scooter. Double wheels in back, wide foot area. TRS had it on sale for $19.99.

His favorite thing at Ms. Melody's is a similar Diego Scooter. Spider Man is his current favorite character. I think he will love it. I am hoping it will be his favorite thing. And at $19.99, I could not pass up the combination.

Now the challenge is to limit further buying. We will see. I was able to follow my own advice for the first two Christmas' of buying one special thing from mommy and/or daddy, a book or two, and then getting necessities (sippee cups, under shirts, feed yourself silverware, etc.) and then sitting back and watching the glut of toy gifts come from friends and family.

Last year I blew it. Too much stuff. Too much money.

My friend Jenny and her husband purchase three gifts each for their current 4 and soon to be 5 kids for Christmas each year because that is the number of gifts Jesus got from the wise men. That is a pretty good system I think. If I can follow it. Maybe mommy can get 3, and Santa can get 3. Hummmmm.

Do any of you have any strategies you follow?

My Updates and Explanation for my Gap this Week

The day we had Jax surgical consult - well, the hour before - I also had a consult with my OB/GYN and was diagnosed with endometriosis. It seems to be fairly extensive, causing pain in nearly all areas of the greater abdominal cavity, but only about 4-5 days per month.

What is endometriosis, you might ask? Essentially the same tissue that lines the uterus goes into overdrive, sneaks out, and takes over outside of that organ and spreads like spider webs. It can go pretty much anywhere, including the bowels, bladder, tie or fuse organs together, etc. The doc said he even read of a case where a woman had tissue in her eye ducts, and when she got her period, her eyes bled.

He put me on the pill, which it turns out, made me completely depressed and somewhat psychotic (so I stopped taking just before Labor Day), and told me he would try to preserve my fertility for three years or so. (I am not sure what is/was magic about 3 years - I will be 40; it will give me time to meet someone and reproduce again?; that is the time lapse before endo completely takes over; I should give up all hope of ever having a child again?) Anyway, I pressed for some more information, and his answer was, "Oh, you'll read about it."

Okay. So I have been reading. And I am now more confused than ever before. I thought my case was severe. While widespread, and the pain excruciating, perhaps severe cannot be accurate. I had no tests. He said you cannot see it, but other endo bloggers discuss sonograms, and others are also in pain for many more days than they are NOT in pain.

I finally called and made an appointment with my doc. I told his nurse I did not want an exam, I wanted a meeting.

I am paying him. He works for me. Didn't he go to med school, and residency and perhaps a fellowship and "read about it"? That is why I am paying him $150 for 5 minutes of his time. I am going to approach this appointment like I would with any of the professional contractors I have dealt with for the past 6 months with our construction and move. If I don't get some satisfaction, and answers that are not flippant, I will fire him and find someone new (assuming I don't fire him anyway).

My problem is he is supposed to be "the best," which is why I had him to begin with. But then again, I had "the best" orthopedic surgeon work on my knee twice, and all I have out of it is a $20K mug. Maybe I need a newbie. But then again, if someone is doing to go in and extricate fine stringy-like tissue from the various nether-regions of my body, I want someone with proven skills. Not that I even know that this is an option or desired, but that is what I have "read" about.

Okay. I am going to sleep now. The best remedy I have found is starting to kick in.....1 beer, 1 Tylenol PM, 3 Motrin and however many tums it takes to sooth my tummy from the combo above. And Yes, somehow, I can rouse myself for middle of the night cries, or" Mommy"s coming from across the hall........

Oh, and the pain.....I described it to a collegeague as imagine that your mid section from your lower pelvic bone to your rib cage, your front to your back, and everything in between filled with jacks, but instead of them being regular ones, put barbs and semi dull razors on the ends. Then move. Try to walk. Put any amount of fluid in your bladder, or any gas in your intestines. Sit up from laying down. Stand for more than 2 minutes. Have a 35 lb child jump on you. Or don't. Cuz it is not fun. And I know, it could be worse. This won't kill me. It is not my child suffering. But still.

Memories

My childhood was blissful up to the age of 12 or so. We were the rich kids in the poor neighborghood. Did not have designer clothes or Nike shoes, but we had a boat and a lot on a lake outside of town, took vacations each summer, and got pizza almost every Friday. Mom was home with us, and we had lots of friends with her Bridge, Euchre, Bowling groups, etc. We played soccer and other school sports.

But for some odd reason, my most vivid memories surround the bad memories. Breaking my music box, having to stay home because of a late potty training failure when my sister got to go to a friends'. The tornadoes in '78, etc. D0n't get me wrong, I have lots of good memories, but the ones that replay in my mind like home movies are the bad stuff.

Jackson seems to have inherited this trait, and a great deal of my anxiety. Tonight at bedtime, he expressed concern about daddy's car breaking down, and if it does, I should go pick them up. No problem. He/they can call me any time for help. Daddy needs a new car. Okay. (He does.) Then he related a story of daddy's car breaking down and Aunt 'Ori picking up daddy and then him. I knew this had happened once back in June or so, so I asked if he was with daddy. Nope. He was at Cathy's. Same incident. Why is he obscessing now?

We had his follow up with Dr. McKenna on Friday. All seems to be healed. But on the walk from the garage, he replayed so much of our interactions surrounding Dr. McKenna and his surgery, it blew my mind. He even remembered what color of shirt he wore the first day we saw him. Blue. He speculated he would have a yellow one on Friday. It was tan. Close. He remembed the IV, giggle juice, the 4 stickers he had on him, that they have suckers there. This is just a sampling. I know this was a big deal for him, but it seems our efforts to down play it failed miserably.

He also remembers when I was mad at him. Asks about why "yesterday" (yesterday can be any day since he was about 3 weeks old) I talked mean to him. "Can we talk about it?" Sure, but I don't have a clue.

I hope that I am creating many positive memories for him. I have no positive memory now of being three. (I hardly remember yesterday, but that is another thing!) I know that what we do for them now helps mold them into what they become later.

Oh, and I learned that he is afraid of fans. Yep. Something else to talk to Melody about on Monday. Fans. Does not want to sit on the couch in front of the window with a fan. Also need to talk to Daddy about it, cuz seems there is an evil fan there, too. Good thing ours are in the ceiling.

Potporri of Feelings

I hope I don't lose you, but this weekend has probably had about 20 posts worth of thoughts - AND it was even a daddy weekend, so they don't directly involve, Jax stories (sorry).


I will forgo the semi-humorous Sid the Sciense Kid (new PBS show), flooding basement experiement I did Friday, and move on to the meaty stuff.


My horoscope from Friday's paper said that a few hours of solitude would be good for me. Being a daddy weekend, having most of my social life friends out of town, and having a board meeting Saturday AM, the rain falling and it being football season, I was not so concerned with a social evening. But my friend Theresa called to invite Jax and I to a last minute dinner. He was not along, but I opted to join them. She is one of my divorsed professional friends I alluded to in a previous post. We had a fun dinner.


Coming home, I was greated to my neighbors' high school freshman girls and best friends having a party. It made me feel somewhat like a washed up lose that I was coming in for the night at 7:30, and these 14 year olds were just getting started, but that is okay too.



A few minutes later I noticed emergency lights coming in my front window. Long story short, one of the guys ended up with a severe concuncussion and I jumped in to play responsible parent (even though MY son was likely headed to be a few blocks away) cuz single dad/only parent home stood by the side. By the time the ambulance left, another couple and our fun neighbors weres home, and delivered me wine. We ended up sitting on the patio drinking wine with a few other parents.

The rest of this post was good, but I seem to have lost it. The moral of it all was that my friendship circles are in a shirt, as are the two frosh best friends who live next door to each other across the street. The parents I hung with are also in the ND alumni club; I interact with one in local political things; their kids go to Jax school, and a new potential date type person went to school with another. So perhaps I am finding my new people, and it will be good.

(Thanks, Lisa, for pointing out my post got truncated in cyberspace.)

"Go Cubs Go......

Jax and Mommy on the Ped-Way at Busch


1. 2 Tickets - Section 451, Row 7, Seats 21-22 (and actually 23 because it was a 3 seat row) $70


2. Gas to St. Louis (when you add in snacks and drinks for the car) $23.41


3. Parking in the 9th Street Garage (easiest in/easiest out & worth every penny) $15


4. Hot Dog, Stale Pretzel with Cheese, Pop Corn & O'Doules (you gotta have a beer at the ball game - even with the 96 mile drive home) $17


5. His first Cubs Game (even if it WAS at Busch):

Priceless!

Jax and I went to St. Louis tonight (yes, just us) to watch the rubber match between the Cubs and Cards. Wrigley South was located in the nose bleed seats at the new Busch. Our seats (thank you, Eric!) were in the upper upper deck, but perfect for us - a single 3 seat row above the section entry, no one in front of us and no one behind. We had lots of leg room and room for him to roam.

The highlight for me was listening to him giggle with glee when the stadium came into view, the drive through the parking garage, the walk down the stairs, across the pedway, and into the stadium. His shear ecstasy commanded attention.

We took in the sites, sounds, smells, a sampling of the food, then after an hour (going into the bottom of third - and bedtime) he was ready to go. I managed to stall him until after the Cubbies scored two in the top of the 5th; we drove past the scoreboard with the Cubs then up 3 in the 6th, and Ron Santo declared "Cubs Win! Cubs Win!" as we passed the southern most exit for Springfield at 10:30. (Shout out to Mom and Dad for googling the St. Louis Cards radio station for me until I got back into Springfield air space.) I laid his comatose but still smiling body in his bed a few minutes later.

This is now a late night for me, but well worth it.

.....Go Cubs Go! Hey, Chicago, Waddya say, the Cubs are gonna win today!"

The First of Many Thanks to Ms. Melody

• Today Jackson scrutinized his wardrobe - which shirt would Andrew like the best?
• Today Jackson did not need to take blue blankey.
• Today Jackson did not need to bring his own cars, "They have toys there," he said.
• Today Jackson did not ask me to take him potty when we got there, or take off his shoes or cry on the way.
• Today I did not have to tell Jackson numerous times it was time to go get in the car.
• Today he did not need to tell me good bye, let alone cling to me, or burst into tears when I tried to leave.
• Today he was riding in a bat mobile being pushed down the street and up the drive by Ms. Melody when I pulled up.
• Today he ran and jumped in my arms, and then jumped back into hers when she caught up with us.
• Today my commute went from 45 minutes to 14.
• Tonight my little boy was a happy little man.
• Tonight we did not fight or argue or did I raise my voice once.
• Tonight we wrestled on the couch and he giggled senseless.
• Tonight he brushed his teeth on first request and did not turn away during my turn.
• Tonight he went to bed without a fight, a whimper or a complaint.

Today and tonight I now know that our change of day care is definately the right decision, and more than well worth the extra we are paying to be at this home.

Thank you, Ms. Melody, for my happy boy back.

All Hail the Timer

We live and die by the kitchen timer.

• 5 minutes to bath time.
• 3 minutes to wash.
• 10 minutes to play before dinner.
• 20 minutes until I lose my mind.

Once the timer goes off, there are no questions asked. If I announce a time limit/warning and don't set the timer, Jax reminds me. If the timer goes off, and I don't turn it off and implement said next step, Jax reminds me, even if it is something he did not want to do.

The timer is all powerful, and I am not the bad guy.

All hail the timer.

My First Day - Guest Post by Jackson

Today was my first day of preschool. I played and ate superhero jello. My favorite toy was the motorcycle toy. I met a boy named Jeff but nobody else. My school is "Gressed Sacrament". My teachers are Mrs. Kinzler and Mrs. White. They are nice ones.

I got a school bag there. I have a hook for me there. It is in the middle.

Love,
Jackson

p.s. Here is a picture of me with my teacher, Mrs. Kinzler, and the motorcycle toy.

Momma Bear

....is about set for the winter.

I took advantage of our home time during Jax recovery to return to an old annual September tradition of cooking until I drop.

All told, I think I made creations with in excess of 10 pounds of beef, and now in my freezer are:

• 2 meatloafs
• 2 lasagnas (made with homemade sauce)
• 30 meat balls
• 4 quart bags of BBQ beef
• Lasagna noodles cooked for 2 more lasagnas (should read the box next time I cook 2)
• 1/2 pound browned ground beef
• 2 sausage patties in the fridge for tomorrow's breakfast (and 2 in our tummies from this AM)

...and John and Jax got fresh meatballs and Grandma Janke (former boyfriend Grandma - thanks, Mike!) sauce to accompany whatever pasta he chooses to boil up for their dinner.

LisaK and I used to joke in college that I could write a book "100 Things to do with Ground Beef" and perhaps someday I will.

I need to make another double batch of sauce, cuz I now don't have any sauce to go with the balls. The original double batch was just enough for the lasagnas and JP and JPII's dinner. Humm.

I also typically do chili, but forgot (thus the left over browned beef?). Sadly(?) the house no longer smells like the clean pine smell from Ms. Debbie who cleans once per month, and is back to a combo BBQ and red sauce scent.

The sink is stacked high with dishes, and all I have actually eaten since breakfast is PB&J and break and bake cookies, but I think I will continue to sit here and watch some tennis.....

Home

We are home and all went fairly well after a rocky, crabby start. They called at 7:10 and asked if we could be there at 7:50 instead of the 8:30 we had originally been told. What? Obviously whoever requested the call placed (1) is not a woman; and (2) does not have a child at home. We got there at 8:10. It was a comprise.

All of the admitting people were awesome and Jackson was in a great mood. Fear 1 was that he would freak out with no breakfast or juice. He never asked.

They gave him "giggle juice" to drink, and while it did not make him giggley, it DID make him like a rag doll after about 10 minutes. It was a bit amusing. It also made the separation much easier for all of us.

The surgery itself lasted only 20 minutes. After another 10 or so they called us back. That is where the trouble began. He was screaming and trying to get the IV out of him arm. I don't blame him. Once he sucked down the required quantity of juice between sobs/screams, the nice nurse took it out. It took about 20 minutes or so to calm him, even in my lap. I think a combination of him waking the rest of the way up and the codeine taking affect did the trick.

We are home, he is on and off the couch, wanting to eat much more than the clear food we are supposed to limit him to because of possible puking. Being a veteran of 7 surgeries and an anesthesia puker myself, I can tell this will not be an issue.

I am off to get jello and gold fish. AND just yelled at Jax for diving on the couch. 40 more minutes to more codeine. I think he is going to be just fine.

Surgery

Tomorrow AM is my little man's surgery. He is finally going to get his potties fixed. I have prepped him the best I know how without explaining the technicalities (ie exactly HOW Dr. McKenna is going to fix his potties).

He knows he, daddy and I are going to the hospital. He is going to get a special night shirt and get in a cool bed with wheels. They are going to give him medicine to help him take a nap, and then Dr. McKenna is going to fix his potties. When he wakes up, mommy and daddy will be there, and his "bottom" might hurt some, but that we will have medicine for it.

I have not quite yet prepared myself. Not being much of a drama queen (or at least not wanting to be), I have pretty much convinced myself this will be the routine procedure that everyone says.

But I fear them taking him away from me. I fear watching them stick his little arm with a needle while awake, but I fear them sticking him with a needle without me there. Maybe they can give them a go to sleep drink, and then do the IV stuff. I hope?

This is a co-called "children's hospital", [but I also worked with the health care committees in the IL General Assembly when some lobbyist friends of mine managed to manipulate a loop hole and get pretty much any hospital designated as a children's hospital in IL to improve their Medicaid rates before the feds got wise and stitched that loop hole up - there are only 2 "real" children's hospitals in IL, and this is not one of them] so hopefully they are more than a wagon and cool paint on the walls and do this every day.

He will be okay. My little man is tough. We will have blankey and puppy and I have fruit snacks in my purse, and two new surprise movies ready to greet him when we get home. I am sure he will blow my mind, and somehow be dancing tomorrow night in the living room singing, "I like to move it, move it." with the guys from Madagascar as I am begging for sleep. Because like Lisa, I am sure I am not sleeping tonight.