So, What's Happenin'?

Well, I have been feeling guilty about not blogging lately, but then again, those I follow haven't really blogged much either - hint, hint, hint.

So what is happening here?

• I got an email from the Reception lady that our 50% payment is due because our wedding is 6 MONTHS FROM SATURDAY.
• Jackson started sounding out words during our story time on Monday night for the first time.
• We started reading The Boxcar Children last night as our first ever real "chapter book" we are reading together. When chapter 3 ended with a cliff-hanger, he protested when I closed the book. I LOVED that!!!
• Jackson, Jared and Joe are all between seasons game wise. But the oldest and youngest have begun basketball practice, and games for both start NEXT weekend.
• Chris has been working out of town most of the time.
• Work has been busy, but good. I think.
• Jackson won the "Most Improved" award for his football team - the only award that is given for each team in his JFL program. He still really doesn't want to play next year, but feels better about this season now.
• I am so sad we did not get to go to Disney again this year, but am very glad we got to go last year.
• Jackson is going to be an "American Warrior from the time around when Abraham Lincoln died" for Halloween, a costume concept he developed and helped me make. His concept is a boy in knight-like silver armor with a sword and shield. We pieced the costume together with random items we had around the house, a fire helmet, the sword (around which the costume was developed), and a can of silver spray paint. When we got him all dressed for the school party Sunday night, he borrowed a compact mirror, looked at himself, and gleefully proclaimed, "I look AWESOME!!!"

His Switch got Flipped

Up until this week, once Jackson realized we were doing something "educational," would get silly and want to do something different.

Kindergarten has flipped that switch on for the love of learning. And it is such a wonderful show to experience!

Over the weekend, I was doing something on my computer and he came in my room.

Mommy, will you show me how to get on a computer? I have computer class each week.

And I showed him my lap top, answered his question about what all of the little icons were, and we opened up Word. He typed his name by hunting his letters over and over and over.

This morning working on his home work (it is not due until tomorrow and we were at football until 8 last night), he asked, holding three crayons up,

Mommy, are these the primary colors?

Thank goodness I had looked at his folder work from the day prior. At art class they had learned about the primary colors, and about mixing colors to get a new color.

We talked about which were the primary colors, and then he thrilled himself by using red to color over his already yellow Leaf (it is "L/l" week), to turn it orange. The child was as excited as if he had a new toy!

We have entered a new world, a new era, and I think I am going to really like it!!! I'm glad he does.

Pics from the Summer

My soccer star

Jackson and Hannah 1st day of school


1st Day Porch Swing

Jackson & Tyler at Open House Day

Jackson as a Pretzel #44

Jackson & Lennon at the Springfield Sliders

Jackson, Jeffrey & Lennon at the big 5 Birthday Party

My pole of boys: Chris, Joe, Jared & Jackson

Jackson's birthday bike

Wedding Post

Wedding planning is coming along, and I have discovered I have an approach: Scope the scene, deside what I like by process of elimination, then find it and buy it. I don't need to go to a gazillion places.

So far we have:

• Found a reception hall - The Inn at 825
• Defined a wedding party - Our three J boys and my sister
• Roughed out a guest list - If any of my blog readers want to come and you are not a sister, a college roommate (KTP, you count as a roommate even if we never actually lived together), or BFF Jenny, I will gladly add you.
  Established a color theme - Black and (off) White, accented by silver/battleship gray
  Purchased a dress - This one but in ivory
• Found a floral theme - Below
• Picked a cake - Pics to come I think
• Picked a florist - Kind of, I have one more meeting.

We are trying to decided about holding the ceremony in the Inn's Garden, or do something else. We are not going to wait for the annulment, but ARE going to get the paperwork in and have the marriaged blessed in the Catholic Church once it comesthrough.

Anyway, until I get a wedding blog/site or whatever, (which I may never do), I will post what I need to share here.

So....here are the inspiration flowers and shots of the garden I took today.


Inspiration Flowers, likely from a previous wedding, I saw at my parents' chuch.

The railing of the "guest suite" decorated the wedding today.

Arch "alter" area, dec'd out for today.

Hand rail into "The Conservatory" - the reception hall of The Inn.

Entrance to the Conservatory.

Set with 100 chairs.

More of the Guest Suite decorations.

Chairs from halfway back.

Collecting my Thoughts

I have not posted in a gazillion years because there have been a gazillion things going on. And when I have settled down to write, I end up rambling.

This morning I wrote this comment to a post by Kimmy at HOP. Amazingly, commenting on her posts got me blogging in the first place. So this is a snapshot of my current brain tornado.

Actual snap shots and updates to come later.

Oh, Kimmy.

I shared similar thoughts this morning as I was literally putting football games on the calendar while taking a dump and my hair drying, hollering at Jackson to get his clothes on and get his bag ready for the day.

I also realized that I have a client board meeting, we have 3 football games, and the school auction, all on one Saturday. The first game over laps my board meeting, and the last football game overlaps the auction. All of the football games are out of town. And it is supposed to be our "kid free/date" weekend.

I thought that work used to define who I was to me. Now it is my family. All 5 of us. And. It. Never. Stops. I don't even get to poop in piece without multi-tasking.

The school secretary position became open and I was thinking about how much I would love that. Organizing, automating the things that have bothered me, running the office like a business, challenging my process-minded self. Being in Jackson's school. Off when he is. NOT having to teach. But it pays somewhere less than 1/3 of my salary.

Amazingly it has come open twice when I have been facing a career mental crisis. I am praying that at job pending for Chris actually opens up. Maybe then we can shift salaries and I can at least be a SAH mom at least when school is not in session.

Okay. Maybe I will finally make this a post on my own blog!!

Good luck. Love you. Suz"

Still Crack Myself Up

Each month to every two months, I run a process. It involves running a report that I rarely run. This report is NOT intuitive.

So every time I enter the process, I end up staring at the screen, thinking, "Now which one of these do I want? Which did I fix to give me the right fields?" and then I get to the last one on the list. It is named, "Use this one." It still makes me laugh.

I am glad at least one day some many months ago, I was smart enough to realize that I am ALWAYS too brain dead to remember.

I wish more things in life I could remember to label that way.

Mini-Me?

They definitely carry our DNA - in his build, in his eyes, in his little face, but also in his little idiosyncrasies.

I like socks, Mommy.
That tag itches me, Mommy.
My fingers are sticky!
Oh, no. My shoes are muddy!
Its going to be crowded and loud. I don't
want to go.

(And some pics for good measure!)
Lennon set on third, with Jackson backing him up. "Long and Pitz" will be two names tied together in the sporting world (and hopefully not on the principals' lists) for years to come.

Jackson and Hannah after the year end preschool photo. After snapping the pic, I had to declare that we don't play on beds. I'm sure I will not be in a picture taking mood if I find them like this another 10 years or so.

Jackson, Hannah and Jeffrey holding their star balloons. Jackson's went to the sky while getting into the car. Hannah consoled him the entire way back to our house. He quickly moved on once we got home.

Jackson with Mrs. Kienzler, a GREAT preschool teacher!

Lined up for the program with Ellen and TJ (alphabetically bookending Jackson for years to come). He was soooo proud of the songs they had lined up.

Flying

Do you remember the summer you learned to fully pump your legs on a swing? Jackson is logging hours at a time in our back yard. The first time he truly mastered it, he was on the swing for more than 2 hours, and could barely walk the next day.

This evening I found him back there giggling and flying through the sky!

Art Lover?

Yesterday was my favorite local day of the year - the Old State Capitol Art Fair (timing could not be better - my much needed indulgence!). Some 150 artists from around the country, many local, come and showcase their work in the square surrounding the beautiful Old State Capitol in downtown Springfield.

The Fair also features food vendors and entertainment.

The OSCAF has been a tradition for Jackson and I since I was pregnant with him. Each year I try to get a piece (or more) for our house, and something for him.

The spring that he turned 1, it was the football clock for his room by an artists who actually specializes in brightly colored clay fish, snakes and other children favorites. (The eyes glow in the dark.)

We have also purchased the fan pulls for his from my favorite artist, Lisa Barnhart.

My EXTREME indulgence from last year - this mirror. Yesterday she explained that it was the last of its kind, because she no longer finishes the sodder as smoothly as mine is. (It does not normally hold this star piece, and has been waiting a year to be hung.)

My glass man who keeps my company in the kitchen.

In my craziness of this week, I was so excited for the art fair. Chris was less than luke warm, so we issued an edict - we were headed to the Art Fair, and anyone was welcome to join us, but they could not be wet blankets!

It ended up being just Jax and I. We parked in our normal "secret" spot, got our awesome mini-donuts, and started exploring. This year Jackson was sooo into the art. It was very fun to hear in comment on what he liked, noticed, thought was cool, etc.

In the end, we walked away with a print of a painting featuring a black lab that looks like Tessie - Jackson and his father's dog. Jax was obsessed that he choose the Tessie picture. He also purchased a brass turtle in the children's tent, a long with a very "special" cat print for me.

"Tessie" picture, Jackson's purchase for the Art Fair 2010.

The "Cat in a Box" piece Jackson picked for me. He said, "I knew you would love it, Mommy!" Yep. I love it cuz you picked it.

I picked up a few gifts and a Lisa Barnhart lawn decoration.

Lastly, I ordered a family gift from a metal sculptor I have purchased from in the past. We soon will have a "The Miller Family" metal piece to display in the front garden.

Despite misty weather, the Art Fair, and the special tradition with my little many, met and exceeded!!

Worms

Remember the song,

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms...?

That's how I feel today. There has just been way too much going on (thus the reason for not blogging lately).

In the past 24 hours I have thrown my temper tantrum and said enough is enough.

I cannot not prep a house to sell, look at lots, look at houses, evaluate plans, price wood, fixtures, etc. work on an annulment, plan a wedding, parent 1+2 children, including an almost 5 year old in 2 sports, maintain a house for sale, clean out the garage and basement, have a garage sale, work full time, be a decent fiance, cook, deal with a depressed semi-unemployed man, do laundry for 3+2 and still maintain my sanity. Many things HAVE TO GO!!

• Yesterday I rationally documented all of the reasons and told Chris I was pulling the plug on the sell/buy/build a new house. We currently have a lopsided budget and too much cumulative debt to take on a bigger mortgage. We are just going to have to stay put for the next 2-3 years or until that big ugly number is AT LEAST divided by 2. This morning I yanked the For Sale sign out of the yard.
• Last night I had a serious discussion with the little man about sportsmanship and that if I EVER saw him kick an opponent's shoe (or any part for that matter) again, he was not playing sports for a year. Even if he does think he is an All Star 3rd baseman.
• My boss and I had a much more contentious meeting over my annual review than she anticipated. She told me that I needed to be more patient and nicer to my colleagues, and I told her I was tired of the Sorority House atmosphere in our office and that I thought her judgement of performance was clouded by her friendship with some of my colleagues. Oh, and that her husband screaming at me at the top of his lungs that "the F#$%^$#ng phones are still NOT fixed" when they WERE working fine when the phone company (whose President calls our office EVERY week because they are our/his client) left, was never acceptable in the workplace.
• THEN Jackson's father called asking about day care rates once Jackson starts kindergarten. It opened the door for me to bust him out that I know his salary has more than doubled (he works for state government - it is public information) since we signed the child support agreement that he is still underpaying, and that I know that he makes the same as me so essentially he needs to get with the program. I did not exactly put it that way, but instead, in the nicer more patient Suzanne mode, developed a nice excel grid calculating down from his gross, then net, then less insurance, then 20%. AND then outlined day care and tuition costs, and offered that he could pick which thing he wanted to pay. His choice. And acknowledging the less costly one is still $200 more than his is paying now (and not "about" the same like he told me 20% of his salary would be), AND $150 less than he SHOULD be at 20%. Never mind that I can take 1/2 of the tuition + child care number and add it to the 20% and that is what a judge would say he should pay. I am NOT greedy. I have been more than generous, but it is more than time for him to buck up.

The silver lining is that all of the bad conversations are all about out. I have typed and the elephant sized weight has been lessoning from my chest. Perhaps I should give my sister in law a call.....:-)

"Short fat juicy ones. Long slim slimy ones...itsy bitsy fuzzy little wooorrrrms."

My Lil' Athlete

Well, over the last week, I have written several sports checks. In sum, we have the following (overlapping by at least two weeks) leagues from now (well, January) until July 5:

• YMCA Basketball


• The Gym Basketball


• YMCA Soccer


• Kids First Coach Pitch Baseball.

And Jackson loves it!

He is doing AWESOME at basketball, having scored at least one shot in each game (bucept the one with the drunken bully coach, but that is for a rant another day).

So while we have not yet hit the age of 5, apparently when you add in Fall soccer, we are a 5 league family!

Oh, No You Didn't! - Volume 1

From my sister-in-law in response to the engagement email I sent out to the family, which included a bit about not being able to set a date until we heard back from the marriage tribunal, and we are looking at November 2010 or we will have to wait until May because of my work schedule, lent and the boys' schedules:

"Congrats again. I am rooting for Thanksgiving. We always have so many tournaments in May, so we probably won't all be able to make it in May. It's hard for the boys to miss soccer since they are on travel teams. Love ya, Stacy"

My draft response back to my brother (which instead I sent to my sister as a vent)

"So is she saying that if I get married in May you can't come??? I would love to accommodate everyone's schedule, but that is not a reality. I hope you can make it even if Stacy and the boys can't.

I will let the Vatican know that May is inconvenient for your wife and maybe that will help move the process along.

Okay. I am better now. You know I love you!!!!"

I know. I was warned. Elope. Can't do it. (Yet)

Overheard

(voice from the bathtub)

"Mommy!....What is this spot under my penis?"

"Um...its your scrotum."

"Mommy, do you have one?"

"Um...nope."

That Which Doesn't Kill Us....

...Makes us Stronger. Right?

I love Chris. I love Jackson. I love my job. But between the three of them, I may go completely insane over the next month. Seriously.

We met with the Church Lady. I need to stop calling her that. She was nice. She was optimistic, and she said she would give us a wedding date when the annulment process was headed to Chicago, not when it comes back, which is bending the rules a little bit.

BUT the paperwork Chris must complete is like 4-5 years of therapy that you have to type out in black and white. Your childhood, relationship with your parents, their relationship with each other, your relationship with your siblings, all of the gory details of your courtship, wedding and marriage. History of any physical abuse, sexual abuse, substance abuse, etc. He had a rough childhood - fortunately none of those abuses - but a rough childhood.

We have shared a bunch of tears. There is nothing written yet. I am hoping we can start him talking and me typing tonight.

Jackson is having major issues at day care. Some are related to our new family arrangement, but they are manifesting as potty issues at nap time at day care. It would be easy to separate if he had not had his potty issues when he was three. He is emotionally scarred. And now getting in trouble if he (a) gets up to go potty during nap time; and (b) has an accident at nap time.

He has taken to trying to bargain with me, grilling me on my meeting schedule, shopping himself around at school for somewhere to go other than Melody's. He even went so far as to be crushed that we weren't going to the doctor TODAY instead of going to Melody's.

I talked to him last night. I talked to her today. I talked to my AWESOME OF ALL AWESOME pediatric nurses for the 4th time. We have an appointment with the child counselor for Monday.

And work. Well, this is our hell season. I don't think I am going to sleep for the next month.

Last night I cried cuz I needed to talk to my mommy, but she has been so sick. But she did call me and leave a message while we were at my work function. God must know I need her. In the mean time, I have a nice hairy chest to cry into.

It will be fine. It will be okay.

Thanks. I feel better now. Kind of.

"Goin' to the Chapel...."

Chris proposed on Wednesday night!

It was sweet and romantic and kind of spontaneous (if you can count our two hour drive each way, lunch, then 2.5 hours with the jeweler during the day Wednesday as still being spontaneous -he said I was not going to get the ring for awhile!)

We have to go through the annulment process for Chris' previous marriage if we want to get married in the church. UGH. We meet with "The Church Lady" on Monday. Apparently we can't set a date until that is complete.

I have learned the flurry of questions that this brings out. And actually a male friend who also is recently engaged teased with his list of questions, and prompted me to write up my FAQs. So here they are:

Wedding Party?
My sister and our collective three boys.

Place?
Blessed Sacrament (unless I get too frustrated with the Church Lady).

Reception?
Likely the newly renovated Anchor Boat Club so we can have a more relaxed reception, not try to limit the guest list as much, and not still be paying for the wedding when it is time to pay college tuition. We can also use the decs from the ISPE "Survivor" convention - lanterns, bamboo & palm planters I made etc. (maybe not the netting and grass skirting, but you never know!) If the Church Lady says spring or summer time, we might get the party barge too. If it is winter, we may reconsider.

When? Ask the Church Lady.

Colors? Depends on time of year, so ask the Church Lady and my sister. She gets to pick her own dress since there will only be 1.

How Many People? - Probably 100-125 (unless they all die off before the Church Lady says we can get married).

Ring? Just under 1ct round with 5 channel set stones on each side. Matching band with 13 stones. His is tungsten, industrial looking because he works in construction. We went to a jeweler I know in Quincy so got it all at once.

Is it too soon? Not really. After being in the dating world since I was 15 or so - some 23 years - I think I know what I am looking for. But the Church Lady might think so.

Do you want more children? We have three great boys, so probably not. (plus, I can't have more children...so my guess would be NO)

Where will you live? My house. We have a room set up for the two older boys downstairs they love, downstairs family room almost done, and we just need the basement toilet to be functional again (new wax ring and new inerts - will actually probably just replace it), and we will be set. It would take the PERFECT house set down on my block or adjacent to my block for the same price I paid for my house to get me to move.

Have you told your parents? Yes. Dad is happy. Mom was too sick to talk. [From my sister-in-law, who thinks it is too soon - they dated for 4 years. I told her the conversation went much better than the 'I'm pregnant" call.]

How did he propose? On the couch without the ring in hand after watching Couples Retreat. It was actually romantic, spontaneous and I think much more meaningful for the two of us than his original "plan."

Stop the Spinning!!!

The world is moving much too fast. I will try to post some new pics tonight, but in case I don't, sorry in advance.

In other world news:

• Our party of 5 is going well....VERY well, in fact.
• Jackson started basketball. His first game he scored 2 baskets and they won (not that we keep score). His second game we learned a valuable lesson about everyone not playing fairly and coaches who don't know the rules and play street ball instead. Snacks were good, so Jackson did okay (mommy, not so much, but don't get me started).
• My mom continues her treatment. The chemo is over, but it seems like at least two more weeks of radiation. We saw her this weekend and her voice was shaky and she looked so weak.
• Our little company continues to grow, and we have landed several more project clients and a new association. Good help, I mean bless, us.
• The Christmas, I mean Valentines Day, I mean Mardi Gras lights are still up. With the walkway lights that resemble Christmas ornaments buried in snow, they might very well be Easter egg lights too. And YES, they still come on with the timer at night. Hey, it helps us find the house!
• Jackson is LOVING the Olympics, so despite not usually getting into the Winter Games, I kind of am too. Last night the three of us sat snuggled up on the couch, with Chris and Jackson having very animated discussions and commentary on the men's downhill slalom. And while he claims to not care so much for the pairs skating, he seemed to have lots of opinions on their performance too.
• Chris and I are heading out of town to do "a little shopping" tomorrow. I will post pics or news when/if there is some!

[Note to Karen]

I am locked out of your blog. Would love to keep up with those babies. Please let me know what I need to do if I am still welcome!

Suzanne

Dinner Preferences According to Jackson

1. Corn Dogs
2. Ice Cream - Thrown in for fun, but did break the tie between corn dogs and chicken nuggets.
3. Chicken Nuggets
4. Jackson Tigger Tail Pasta ("Tigger" -Spring Pasta with Cheese Sauce [see mommy-kind mac n cheese] - Tigger Pasta has been discontinued -VERY traumatic in our house.)
5. Scrambled Eggs & Blueberry Muffins
6. Cheese burgers at home
7. Mommy-kind Mac n Cheese (elbow macaroni with velveeta, margarine & milk)
8. Pancakes
9. Pasta and Sauce
10. Hot Dogs
11. Pizza

Each choice was fully vetted over his corn dog, kraft ez mac and veggies, while I traded the corn dog for bbq salmon heated on the stove top.

Yep. The good life.

Some Happy Photos

Sometimes you just need to smile!

My nephew Cooper at Thanksgiving.

Jackson and me at the Blessed Sacrament Christmas Program.

My guys snuggling on Christmas night.

Grandma Great and Jackson.

My little shepard.

Christmas at the Knights of Columbus.

Big stakes at Thanksgiving.

The jingle bell bracelet we made at the Festibal of Trees.

Jackson and Big Joe enjoying the trees.