"The Talk"

So it is not fair to have morning sickness when you are not pregnant, or likely cannot get pregnant. Nor is it fair to have sore "big things" or constant tugs on your tummy, or pain when you have to go to the bathroom, even if it is muted pain.

Today when the nausea had lasted more than a couple of hours - even in the brief time when the Cubbies pulled ahead of the Cards - I picked up the phone and called the doc.

It is time for "The Talk".

The talk where I get the details of what the surgery involves, what the after affects will be, how my body at 38 might react to being rushed into menopause in a very sudden fashion. What relief from the hot flashes, etc. there will be cuz Estrogen therapy is not an option.

And if I am strong enough, where I set the date.

I made this decision a couple of months ago when it became obvious the pills were losing their effectiveness but not their side affects. But until today, had not picked up the phone.

Scott and I have talked about it quite a bit, even the night we had our loaner baby. Kim and I have talked about it quite a bit. I have talked it over with a good spiritual neighbor. LisaK and I have compared notes on the topic as well. I know this is for the best. I know that I am so blessed that God sent me my awesome little man.

But my voice cracked just a bit when the nurse asked "what she could do for me" and set my meeting/appointment date for next week.

I cleared my calendar for that hour and the two following it. I think I will need it, not matter how much I think I am ready.