For the past 6+ days, I have been battling strange emotions I could not quite identify. I think the common thread is behavior or occurrences contrary to my expectations.
There are some major things - a woman who has been one of my closest friends in Springfield since I was pregnant with Jackson was arrested on Friday for fraud and embezzlement from her former employer. Apparently this has been going on for the entire time I have known her. And she has been convicted and served time for a similar crime in the past.
Several friends have contemplated or participated in cyber affairs with a former boyfriend, all parties are married. One did not do it. One did it and came clean and is making amends with her husband, and one is getting divorced.
I had a major falling out with my mother over apparent expectations we had for each other.
Scott and I are struggling a bit over my expectations of him.
I have issues at work with employees letting me down, way below my expectations. And I have a feeling that my boss feels the same way about me, but I also expect that if she does, she should tell me (which is exactly what I did with one employee today).
I am also very very much struggling with my own expectations of myself. The house is a mess. The bills have not been paid in a month. I am behind at work, and don't have the drive to work late to catch up. I expect more from myself.
I am not sure where the magic switch is to turn things right in the world. I am trying to tell myself it is me just adjusting to the new course of hormones. I just don't know.
Things I do know:
- I am blessed to have my beautiful little man who never fails to meet my expectations, and does not hold me to too great of standards.
- God has blessed me with a great prayer/support group, and sent Lisa to visit in just the right time.
- I am looking forward to my unofficial 20 year college reunion Friday night.
- We are having fun planning Jackson's 4th birthday.
And one request: If you do pray, please pray for my friend John Ross' father and family who is on life support and not expected to live; my friends' and all marriages that may be struggling; for Rachel, that she finds help and can come to terms with the choices she has made in her life; and for Randy and her father who have to be the most hurt by such a terrible surprise.
"Come, Holy Spirit, Come"
4 comments:
Kind of sounds like you have had a rough run of things. Pick one small task to get accomplished and then let it go until tomorrow. Then do something else. Eventually you start to feel better and a little more motivated.
I usually start with polishing the kitchen sink and cleaning the counters. For some reason this makes me feel good in the morning to wake up to. It kind of gets me going.
Hope things turn around soon for ya!
Karen
Kind of sounds like you have had a rough run of things. Pick one small task to get accomplished and then let it go until tomorrow. Then do something else. Eventually you start to feel better and a little more motivated.
I usually start with polishing the kitchen sink and cleaning the counters. For some reason this makes me feel good in the morning to wake up to. It kind of gets me going.
Hope things turn around soon for ya!
Karen
It was great to see you this weekend. Sorry you're having a rough time. Your world will right itself and your friends will support you while it does.
Um, please tell me you meant "high school" reunion. We're not THAT old.
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