Funkiness

I'm in a funk.

I admit it.

I felt better in Florida, BUT I didn't have weeds, laundry, dishes, dinner, clutter to look at. 

I didn't have to face any of those things staring at me, and admit,

"I don't want to do it, AND you can't make me!"

...which is how I felt before I left, and how I REALLY feel now. 

I just want to sleep.  And sleep.  And sleep.

I am eating what I want, and not exercising, which is NOT helping anything either.

I have had the feeling though, that I do want to look cute when I go out in public, which may be a positive sign, BUT eating and laying around does not help.  Not that my desire to look cute AND thinner has done anything to stop the eating or promote exercise.

I truly know I am in a funk because I don't want to plant my hanging pots and porch boxes.  I love doing that.  Or I did.  I have the flowers.  Jackson and his BFF Jack helped me pick them out.  But they are sitting on the porch.  And I'm in here.

Not sure what has made it worse.  That I feel fat.  That the divorce was final Wednesday.  That tomorrow is Mother's Day and last year, my mom and Grandmother were both still alive.  And now they aren't.

I want out of this funkiness.  But don't think I am yet strong enough to pull myself out.  Not yet.

(sigh)

Cubs game/couch?  Listen to it and plant?  Hummmmmmm......