He looks like me, BUT

....he thinks like dad!

At five months, when he was only flirting with the cute blonds in the elevator in downtown Chicago, I mused he was his daddy's boy.

But now as he gets older, I have found that Jax processes his thoughts much more like his father than me.

For me, I grew up with absolutes. There were rules. You followed them. You did not say no. Think no. Or question why. Black and white.

Jackson wants to understand "why." Not in a pesky toddler kind of way "why," but in a truly understanding the thought behind the rule/fact "why."

For example, Jax has struggled with basic rules of baseball. He wants to hit the ball off the tee, field it, then run around and slide "safe." Baseball is a one man game in his mind. It works in my world, but not so much on vacation. There was lots of baseball playing at Lake Syracuse. And there was lots of tension when Jackson wanted to field his own ball.

When I finally resolved that the kids were not going to let his version of the rules slide when it was his turn any longer, I pulled him aside, and we "talked about it." I explained that everyone in the game had a job - pitch, hit, field, run. If he hit AND fielded, he was taking someone else's job. Explained in those terms, and not as "these are the rules, live with it," he was cool with it, and there was peace.

I have found myself suggesting that we "talk about it" with other things - neutral tones, the two of us sitting down calmly, and me reviewing the overall concepts and him being able to ask questions. It works. And now he takes it upon himself to ask,

"Mommy, can we talk about you saying no to me having a fruit snack for
breakfast?"
"Can we talk about going to the donut store?"
"Can we talk about why you talked mean to me?"

We have also talked about going in the street, eating chicken nuggets every night for dinner, the need to wipe when the stinkies come out, why stinkies come out, etc. Not only has it proven effective, but it is SO cute when he asks if we can "Talk about" something, then climbs up next to me and looks up, waiting for me to begin.

He is truly wanting to understand. I had to go over the food processing, turning into stinkies thing a few times. He was NOT good with "everyone has stinkies" - he needed to know WHY.

I am happy about this and a little freaked out. I know now that if I can come up with a plausible explanation of something, it is all good, and it will stick. But what does that mean when it comes to the challenges he will face down the line, like when someone has a better argument why it is okay to try crack just one time.

I feel challenged, but hopefully we are up to it.